Monday, December 27, 2010
Nifty Gadgets - Day 35
So, I got a few very neat little gadgets to help me along during the new year. A "Gruve" - this nifty little sucker tells you exactly how many calories you're burning during the day, and even vibrates when it senses you've been inactive for too long. I've worn the thing two days so far, and gotten a little "surprise" at least 3 or 4 times. Alright, alright already, I'm moving! Yeeesh. Second nifty gadget? It's called a Quantum scale, and it's a scale that never shows you your weight - you heard me right. I, like thousands of other women in the US, cringe to hear the number on the scale and have a tough time deciding to jump on a scale at the start of any diet. This scale simply "silently" records your base weight, then tells you whether you've gained or lost any. For example, if I lost 5 lbs, the scale would simply say "-5". How ingenious is that? Furthermore, why couldn't I have thought up such an idea and now be well on my way to joining the multi-millionaire club? Could, shoulda, woulda. But these Christmas gifts could prove very useful on my weight loss quest - and both are Dr Oz approved (booya!)
Monday, December 13, 2010
Learning to Let Go: Day 21
There is a fine line between boredom and hunger. Such is a piece of wisdom truer than just about any proverb.
But, I digress. Christmastime is nearly upon us - tis the season, baby. I have locked, loaded, and braved the malls, valiantly finishing my shopping with time to spare (brief pause for a little well-deserved self-back patting). More importantly than that, another year is nearly gone, another new start on the way, ye auld lang syne, resolutions lists being compiled, the whole nine. This year isn't going to be any ordinary, mundane year in the book of Jess, I'm willing it to be not so. Because you see, I've realized something else about myself on this new year cusp...
I find it very difficult to let go of things.
There, I've gotten that off my chest - and, no, I'm not referring to grudges. You see, I let go of a grudge almost TOO quickly, in fact. For a large part of my life, to be frank, the term "doormat" would've been a suitable description for my inability to confront those who'd wronged me (I have since improved on a marginal scale - but again, I digress).
Ladies and gents, I am, quite simply, a sentimental fool. To add supporting details to this statement, I have been a puddle of tears on and off for the past week.
Why? Well, for starters, I just finished watching Toy Story 3 (the ultimate tear jerker film with a central theme about letting go and moving on) - but furthermore, I'm an emotional mess because I've had to let go of things in my own life.
I bought a new car - a very cool car, a car I am proud to say I purchased all on my own with a reported 730 credit score to boot (woot woot). But that didn't stop me from crying harder than a tween girl at a Justin Beiber concert when I had to trade in my old car. Anyone else would've been merely elated about such a purchase, but me? NO, I hardly felt the $900 they gave me for the trade in was worth it. Not worth it for THAT car because THAT car was my baby. Heck, I even named the damn thing. It was my first car, the car I'd been driving since the day I got my license. That car made it through highschool, through college. It transported my friends to and from wherever it was we decided to go on whatever particular night we happened to hang out. I used to drive around in it listening to my favorite tunes, singing like an idiot at the top of my lungs, feeling freedom like no other for the first time in my teen life.... and that's when I realized, it's not the loss of the car that was making me depressed, it's what the car REPRESENTED for me. It was the memories.
Another light bulb went off because, holy cow, could I possibly apply this to other apsects of my life, as well?
The answer was clear... Yes, yes I could.
As said previously, I find it incredibly difficult to let things go. I save things most people consider trash just because "It might come in handy some day". I see the good in whatever that thing is, and become blinded to everything else about it. Forget the fact that the car never handled correctly and always had a faulty transmission - it was still MINE, it still reflected all those years of fond memories. That's the only thing I could think about. But, what else in my life had I been holding onto for all the wrong reasons? Or perhaps not WHAT, but WHO.
There WAS something else, and it was a major something else. It's about a boy, one that I allowed to have a hold on me, this guy that probably read like something directly out of a chapter of "He's Just Not that Into You". I made the terrible mistake of letting this dude dictate my happiness. I know, smooth move, sister. But I couldn't help myself because when he called, I was elated. I was beside myself. I felt SPECIAL. When he asked me out, I was over the moon. When he ignored me (which turned out to be the majority of the time), I was devastated. But he was INTO me, he'd told me himself! We got along great, we had the same taste in music, he made me laugh, he was GOOD LOOKING, and a good kisser to boot. But, that's where the positives ceased.
Bottom line, he had more issues than Lindsey Lohan pre-rehab, and he only called me when it was convenient for HIM. Yet it didn't stop me from grinning ear to ear like a fool every time he sent me a stupid little text. This guy, as it turned out, represented so much more. I mean, a guy that good looking who'd admitted to having a crush on ME? Like a lovesick puppy, I was willing to take a beating because, due to my own glaring self esteem issues, I felt I wasn't deserving. I TOLD myself I was deserving, but the mirror told me another story no matter how I tried to convince myself otherwise. I had to learn to listen to myself because the ultimate truth, is that I deserve BETTER. I deserve to not function solely as a tool of convenience for another human being - it's a two way street, as they say.
It was time to cut him loose - and I finally took that leap. I deleted his number. The several years of back and forth, wishy-washy crap was over. I let him go, I let the car go, heck I even let some of the old junk in my closet go, and I moved on - and happily so.
Now, where else can I cut out some negatives in my life? Time to do a bit of de-friending on facebook, perhaps? Honestly, why am I still keeping in touch with someone who suddenly decided to stop being my friend back in the 10th grade? Just because we used to have a lot of fun, once upon a time? My question remains - why keep waste in your life? Besides, the memories are what stay with you - so what is the point of becoming so attached to an inanimate object, or a person whose importance in your life is long past his or her prime?
I have a knack for focusing only on the good and thinking - "Hey, things can be good again, I'm SURE of it", and I wait for years for something or someone to come around - and it sure as shit never does. I call it the "Boomerang" effect - if you toss it and it comes right back, you catch it happily in your hand and move merrily on your way, fine - but if that boomerang exceeds its prescribed return time, then the bitch is broke, it's time to move on and realize it ain't ever comin back, K? Why not cut the defects out of your life? Suck out the proverbial poison. If something doesn't continue to make you happy, why keep it around?
It's time to clean house. Now I'm not saying I'm about to embark on a bridge burning rampage, but I'm simply taking a moment to sit back and evaluate who or what is adding value to my life, and who or what is simply making me miserable. A little spring cleaning on the brink of a new year, never felt this good :)
Best wishes for a Happy Holiday, Merry Christmas, and a fresh new start for a fresh New Year,
-J
But, I digress. Christmastime is nearly upon us - tis the season, baby. I have locked, loaded, and braved the malls, valiantly finishing my shopping with time to spare (brief pause for a little well-deserved self-back patting). More importantly than that, another year is nearly gone, another new start on the way, ye auld lang syne, resolutions lists being compiled, the whole nine. This year isn't going to be any ordinary, mundane year in the book of Jess, I'm willing it to be not so. Because you see, I've realized something else about myself on this new year cusp...
I find it very difficult to let go of things.
There, I've gotten that off my chest - and, no, I'm not referring to grudges. You see, I let go of a grudge almost TOO quickly, in fact. For a large part of my life, to be frank, the term "doormat" would've been a suitable description for my inability to confront those who'd wronged me (I have since improved on a marginal scale - but again, I digress).
Ladies and gents, I am, quite simply, a sentimental fool. To add supporting details to this statement, I have been a puddle of tears on and off for the past week.
Why? Well, for starters, I just finished watching Toy Story 3 (the ultimate tear jerker film with a central theme about letting go and moving on) - but furthermore, I'm an emotional mess because I've had to let go of things in my own life.
I bought a new car - a very cool car, a car I am proud to say I purchased all on my own with a reported 730 credit score to boot (woot woot). But that didn't stop me from crying harder than a tween girl at a Justin Beiber concert when I had to trade in my old car. Anyone else would've been merely elated about such a purchase, but me? NO, I hardly felt the $900 they gave me for the trade in was worth it. Not worth it for THAT car because THAT car was my baby. Heck, I even named the damn thing. It was my first car, the car I'd been driving since the day I got my license. That car made it through highschool, through college. It transported my friends to and from wherever it was we decided to go on whatever particular night we happened to hang out. I used to drive around in it listening to my favorite tunes, singing like an idiot at the top of my lungs, feeling freedom like no other for the first time in my teen life.... and that's when I realized, it's not the loss of the car that was making me depressed, it's what the car REPRESENTED for me. It was the memories.
Another light bulb went off because, holy cow, could I possibly apply this to other apsects of my life, as well?
The answer was clear... Yes, yes I could.
As said previously, I find it incredibly difficult to let things go. I save things most people consider trash just because "It might come in handy some day". I see the good in whatever that thing is, and become blinded to everything else about it. Forget the fact that the car never handled correctly and always had a faulty transmission - it was still MINE, it still reflected all those years of fond memories. That's the only thing I could think about. But, what else in my life had I been holding onto for all the wrong reasons? Or perhaps not WHAT, but WHO.
There WAS something else, and it was a major something else. It's about a boy, one that I allowed to have a hold on me, this guy that probably read like something directly out of a chapter of "He's Just Not that Into You". I made the terrible mistake of letting this dude dictate my happiness. I know, smooth move, sister. But I couldn't help myself because when he called, I was elated. I was beside myself. I felt SPECIAL. When he asked me out, I was over the moon. When he ignored me (which turned out to be the majority of the time), I was devastated. But he was INTO me, he'd told me himself! We got along great, we had the same taste in music, he made me laugh, he was GOOD LOOKING, and a good kisser to boot. But, that's where the positives ceased.
Bottom line, he had more issues than Lindsey Lohan pre-rehab, and he only called me when it was convenient for HIM. Yet it didn't stop me from grinning ear to ear like a fool every time he sent me a stupid little text. This guy, as it turned out, represented so much more. I mean, a guy that good looking who'd admitted to having a crush on ME? Like a lovesick puppy, I was willing to take a beating because, due to my own glaring self esteem issues, I felt I wasn't deserving. I TOLD myself I was deserving, but the mirror told me another story no matter how I tried to convince myself otherwise. I had to learn to listen to myself because the ultimate truth, is that I deserve BETTER. I deserve to not function solely as a tool of convenience for another human being - it's a two way street, as they say.
It was time to cut him loose - and I finally took that leap. I deleted his number. The several years of back and forth, wishy-washy crap was over. I let him go, I let the car go, heck I even let some of the old junk in my closet go, and I moved on - and happily so.
Now, where else can I cut out some negatives in my life? Time to do a bit of de-friending on facebook, perhaps? Honestly, why am I still keeping in touch with someone who suddenly decided to stop being my friend back in the 10th grade? Just because we used to have a lot of fun, once upon a time? My question remains - why keep waste in your life? Besides, the memories are what stay with you - so what is the point of becoming so attached to an inanimate object, or a person whose importance in your life is long past his or her prime?
I have a knack for focusing only on the good and thinking - "Hey, things can be good again, I'm SURE of it", and I wait for years for something or someone to come around - and it sure as shit never does. I call it the "Boomerang" effect - if you toss it and it comes right back, you catch it happily in your hand and move merrily on your way, fine - but if that boomerang exceeds its prescribed return time, then the bitch is broke, it's time to move on and realize it ain't ever comin back, K? Why not cut the defects out of your life? Suck out the proverbial poison. If something doesn't continue to make you happy, why keep it around?
It's time to clean house. Now I'm not saying I'm about to embark on a bridge burning rampage, but I'm simply taking a moment to sit back and evaluate who or what is adding value to my life, and who or what is simply making me miserable. A little spring cleaning on the brink of a new year, never felt this good :)
Best wishes for a Happy Holiday, Merry Christmas, and a fresh new start for a fresh New Year,
-J
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